Fakers - Declaring war on 'Top Shop Goths'.

I've been into Metal (and over the past several years) Goth for the best part of two decades. As a result, in that time I have seen a lot of things come and go in the scene; a lot of spurious fads and five minute wonders that have disappeared into obscurity. I am very much a man that wears being a goth/metalhead mix on his sleeve, and will no doubt still continue to do so for many years – irrespective of cynics out there that believe I should be some beige cardigan wearing tedious bore “at my age”. Fuck them, and while they're at it – they can fuck off, come back and fuck off again some more as far as I'm concerned.

“But, why are you so defensive about it?”

Well, when you've been into it all for such a period of time and you see people call everything from Tim Burton films, vaguely dull coloured frilly clothing and edgy coloured shit haircuts and tattoos, and things in Primarni that have faded band logos on it – you're bound to get a bit pissed off with it all and get defensive. Rightfully so.

I remember when I first got into it all, and there was no way people would even wear biker jackets, Doc Martens, and band T shirts of bands that they know fuck all about. In fact, it was looked down upon even more than it is today and actually viewed with a sense of fear. People associated you with “Hell's Angel” type people and gave you a fair bit of distance. Also, the exposure of music was kept very much underground, and the notion of downloading films and music was still the stuff of complete fantasy; especially when the fastest internet connection speed was as fast as 56kbit/sec and the world wide web as we know it today was in a practically embryonic phase. Knowing about music was limited to tape trading, or scouring through album liner notes to find out what other bands to check out that they toured with, or were friends with. Exchanging mix tapes with friends, discovering new music in a completely grass roots level – that was fresh and carried a far stronger air of excitement that it carries today.

I could could elaborate further, but the basic consensus in those days that there is not a rat shit in hell's chance that the mainstream wanted to copy or emulate our fashion. To be honest, we liked it that way – it was an identity of our own; having fuck all to do with mainstream culture for the most part – until the occasional band like Guns and Roses and Metallica broke through, along with stuff like Nirvana to name a couple. Okay, the albums may have “charted” as such – but back then there was no way anybody wanted to emulate our lifestyle or how we looked in any shape of form.

Don't get me wrong – I welcome fellow metalheads and goths, that's all well and good. I welcome the newer generation of people who are getting into new bands, checking out the old bands, and flying the “freak flag” of being an alternative. It's good to see that people are still being a part of the subculture, who simply aren't pleased with listening to musical diarrhoea pumped out of tedious radio stations, such as the latest hits from “Bored Lambrini Housewife FM” and such. That's great – please continue and keep the whole culture alive.

However, due to the nature of today's people with fickle attention spans that change far quicker than they ever did before thanks to the internet – it has brought a load of fucking morons along that like the idea of being “edgy” for a short time period, until the bovine masses decide on the “sage advice” spoon fed by the media. Trend morons who have under shaved hair in fruity colours, “bad decision” tattoos and expander piercings – which was one the sole preserve of what I refer to as “my ethnic group”. Ironically, these are the same people who sneer at us for being alternative, having tattoos, or having fruity coloured strange haircuts. The same sort of people that done stuff to my friends like throw them down a flight of stairs, putting them in hospital for the simple crime of having a mohawk back in the day. Also, while playing things like Grand Theft Guitar Hero and liking the rock soundtracks on them with completely zero sense of irony. “Ah sweet! It's that song 'Enter The Sandman' and 'Welcome To That Jungle'” they squeal, deciding to shovel much of this down their ears and throats as possible until the next big thing comes along. While raiding charity shops for piss stained leathers to wear for a couple of weeks, and joining the hipster edgy Zeitgeist with shit beards, record players, and looking like they fell from the 1970s or 1980s – because looking like you came from then is somehow “the new cool” (or should I say “looking sick as fuck, bro” - or whatever fucking adjective they say now).

From my point of view (and I'm definitely sure I'm not alone), many of my “ethnic group” are getting pretty pissed off with it. A sea of Primarni branded morons, wearing Doc Martens and Ramones shirts, with fruity coloured shaved hair and shit tattoos of skulls and zombies – because somehow looking like the people you take the piss out of is “in vogue” this season.

So, is it little wonder that people like me get real sick of your shit – when you're doing it as a fashion statement?

Don't worry – the REAL alternatives can spot you fake twats a fucking mile off, and we're all onto you.

We will rightfully reclaim Goth and Metal, and we will fight to have it back and restore it.