Instagram versus Vignette: The Satirical Verses

This week, users of Android phones now have the privilege to install one of the iPhone's 'killer apps' in the form of Instagram, a relatively simple photo manipulation tool that turns your pictures into something that your Granddad or Uncle may have taken back in the 1970s/1980s using an Instamatic, Box Brownie, or Polaroid camera. Originally, this was an iPhone only app – but now users of thy holy 'Cult of the Divine Green Robot' can now join in the fun that was originally the exclusive club of 'The Jobsian Disciples'.

Needless to say, this has really pissed a lot of people off who are users of the divine fruity speaking tube. The interwebs have been set alight with flame wars, citing that Instagram has now gone to the dogs because 'The Android Infidels' are messing the place up with poor quality images and slowing the Instagram servers down with high levels of traffic generated by the runaway success of the Android version of the app,

The notion that Android users have poor quality cameras and mainly use lower to mid specification handsets is a theory that has more holes than a warehouse stuffed with Swiss Cheese (and stinks like one too). The likes of such image improving apps was born from the fact that the earlier iPhone models before the 4 and 4S had pretty terrible cameras compared to the competition. 

 

For example, the 3GS only has a 3 megapixel camera with no flash, while rival Android models of a similar vintage like the HTC Desire and Wildfire had 5 megapixel cameras armed with a flash just to name two examples of older Android handsets. Even something as lowly as a Samsung Galaxy Mini has a similar specification camera to what the 3GS has for a mere £80, while another 'low end' phone like the Galaxy Ace has 5megapixel with flash, ditto the ZTE Blade II. In fact, when the first iPhone came out the camera on the Nokia N95 was far superior and kicked it to the kerb in terms of image quality.

So, even with budget Android handsets like these – they're better than the iPhone 3GS and cost significantly less. So, boom goes the inane theory that 'The Android Infidels' are messing their servers up with poor quality images. Now that we have squashed that myth, lets move onto comparing the Instagram app, and Vignette.

Instagram:

Since October 2010, Instagram developed an insane cult following of over 30million users and was one of the most successful apps ever created for the iOS platform. Obviously, the creators of the app decided that the coffers had probably peaked and reached a glass ceiling. Rather than be a one trick pony catering for an exclusively iPhone only app, the creators decided on creating an Android version which opens the market up to the lucrative 49% of users they weren't originally catering for.

In the space of a few days, it has been a runaway success which will now multiply the user base exponentially to hundreds of millions of users worldwide. Which will obviously benefit Messrs Systrom and Krieger, and their crew of employees aboard SS Instagram Inc no end. Good for them.

With all the current 'hoo haa' that's been going on because of this news, I've decided that I too want a slice of the 'poseur pie' for tasting. To see what the massive fuss is about these posts I see on social networking sites; filled with ethereal and nostalgic coloured pictures of people's pets, trees, breakfast, some girls tits, and God knows whatever else people want to 'retro-nise' and post for all the slack jawed social network gawkers to distort and spluff their trousers over.

I installed it the previous night, during a point where I got bored of looking at the PC. After a bit of fiddling, I found that the app had a somewhat 'Fisher Price' quality and was rather simplistic compared to Vignette. In fact, it only had something like 18-20 pre-set effects that had no further scope for fine tuning – but the good thing about the app is the fact that results can be obtained instantly whereas Vignette does require the user to work at it; but the results with Vignette due to the comprehensive options available can be mind-blowing for the new user.

Assuming that I probably missed a load of menu's out the previous night, I tried again during my lunch hour in work to ensure I left no stone unturned; there definitely weren't any more options to play with. To be honest, the app is a typical example that follows the minimal design of Apple software and hardware – to just do something without too much fuss or worry, and don't sweat over the complex stuff because we told you to do so – no follow up questions will be answered. Also, the notion of it being a 'social networking community' so that you can share your artistic works with utter randoms is something that doesn't appeal to me. Face it, I have Facebook, Twitter, a (criminally underused and far superior) Google+ and now I have Tumblr as I wanted to see what the fuss was about with that. I'll just post my works using those platforms (if I so desired) and let that be the be all and end all of the matter perhaps; I spend too much time indoors on PC's cultivating a 'Hackers Tan' as it is, thank you very much!

In short, the user base of Android haven't missed anything at all (especially if you're using Vignette); and will probably fail to understand the fuss like myself who doesn't subscribe to 'The Jobsian Cult'. The only users it may benefit are probably the ex-iPhone users that migrated to Android, and had fond memories of using it.

Vignette:

Now, HERE is the killer app. Vignette is probably one of the best ones that's worth getting an Android handset for. The features are long and comprehensive, that cover various aspects of old camera emulation such as 'Toy Camera', 'SX-70'. Black and White, Sepia, Cross Process, Tinted Monochrome, Pastel Colours, Lens Flares, Colour Flares, various grain and frames – pretty much too long to list.

Once you have sat down with it and had a good look at the settings and experimented, some amazing results can be achieved. There are two versions, the free one only shoots in 5 megapixel maximum with some slight feature limiting, while the full blown version enables you to use the full megapixel rating of your phone's camera in question.

If you find the choice bewildering, there's even a random 'lucky bag' option that picks a combination of random effects so that one picture is never the same as the next one you take. Like Instagram, an existing picture can be dragged into the app and altered at will, and you can save pictures as you go along if you do a particularly nice shot and wish to keep the original intact. Border and print effects can be applied too, that turn the image into various retro picture sizes to emulate a Polaroid with film effects like Portra, Velvia and Ilford which work very well indeed.

The pictures posted in this blog speak for themselves, as an A to B comparison. In fact, if I was an iPhone owner and  was showed this app running on an Android rival owned by a friend I'd be pretty red faced and embarrassed by my phone – or like some iThing owners argue the toss quoting a load of bullshit and believing your own lies about your phone being allegedly superior.

The £500,000 question is: I wonder if there will be even more of an outcry if the app was ever created for WinPhone users or Blackberry? Somehow, I feel that some iPurists out there will now desert the app and try to find something that's 'iExclusive'; because their fruity little club has now been 'sullied' by 'The Android Unwashed'. Sad thing is, many apps have been ported to the Android platform and I don't recall anybody being so vociferous in the past when this occurred. 

 

The ultimate bottom line is that Messrs Systrom and Krieger have a business to run, and to put bread on the table. As a result, it may come as a shock to iBores that they're not their friends who have betrayed them by making an Android version – they're out to make money. I only wished I had the 'Epiphany From The Gods'/'Eureka Moment' to make hipsters part with their cash for an app that emulates the results of a camera that you would find in your parents loft. I might not be into the app that much, but good on them and I wish the creators well.