Summer Sucks Arse (an ode to a shitty British summer)

Greetings dear viewers,

This is a poem that I created some time ago, and seeing as it's Summer (at the time this is posted), I have decided to post it on my blog.

The Summer arrives as if with no warning.
Bringing longer nights and earlier dawning,
This in itself sounds like a blessing,
But it brings forth something more distressing,
Soaring temperatures, either Fahrenheit or Celsius,
For for small, young, and old, can be very dangerous,
The summer weather is awful and a total bore,
If I wanted this hassle I would go southwards abroad.


The sun worshippers come out in their masses and droves,
Cold Weather they have loathed now disposed,
Sunning themselves so they can boast,
They look like Lobsters of pieces of Toast,
Exposing themselves to possible skin cancer,
Sunbathing to me is certainly no answer,
Swarms of bugs awaken, for example mosquitoes,
They attack the extremities like fingers or toes,
They swarm in masses and give me the creeps,
Yet tonnes of people still sunbathe like mindless sheep,


Plants wither and die because of hosepipe bans,
So people go mad and stash water in containers and pans,
The temperatures soar higher and higher,
Britain's warm weather plans are disorganised and dire,
The Sun's power burns and is harsh for the eyes,
Despite wearing sunglasses there is no respite,
Bringing along problems like forest fires,
The fire fighters are stretched to the max,
Meanwhile the flames climb ever higher.

And then comes night fall, still warm, no respite,
It continues to annoy with endless spite,
Sleep is impossible - clothes shrink wrap - you sweat,
The Gnomes turn off air conditioning with deepest regret,
You try to sleep, it causes hassle and you weep,
"Please stop cooking me!!", night terrors ruin sleep,
So this is my take on the heat wave, it's a stupid farce,
Bring forth an Ice Age, and shove this weather up your ARSE!